You Were There, Now You're Here
by kris x emergency
Summary: NOTFINISHINGMOSTLIKELY. Jack died while Rose lived. Maybe things actually did turn out differently...
1. A Place I Don't Want To Go

**Title: Ocean of Memories  
Chapter: A Place I Don't Want To Go  
Rating: Teen -No clue, what exactly will happen.  
Based On: Rose, Jack, and a few random characters  
Updating: Once a week hopefully.  
Editor?: There is no editor. Get over it. Thank you. : )  
This Chapter: It's on Rose.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except for the plot, I really wish I owned Jack Dawson though.. **

Jack did not die in vain.  
Jack did not die in vain.  
Jack did not die in vain.  
Jack did not die in vain.  
I repeated it over and over again. Was it really that sad for me to want to go back to them? I would be safe, and warm, and, and, and a puppet. I would be a polite puppet and have everyone do everything for me. Things that I was capable of doing by myself. I would turn out just like my selfish mother. The mother who cared only about herself, her non-existent wealth, and our stature in the publics eyes. She didn't care who I loved or who I hated, she just wanted to make sure that I married a wealthy man and that she would be taken care of for the rest of her spoiled life. I was just a one way ticket into a life she loved and a life I hated. Well, too bad mother, it didn't happen. I doubt Cal will take care of you, he may hand out money like it's nothing, but he has to have a reason, and you're not even a good enough reason.

Maybe Molly Brown and her husband will take care of you. She seemed nice enough. She cared about people, before and after she was rich. She'll take pity on you, maybe you'll learn something about life from her. Maybe you already have learned something from the sinking of the "unsinkable" ship. Oh God, I refuse to even think of going back and be a thoughtless puppet to my mother and especially not to Caledon Hockley.

His name still makes me want to vomit. He was even worse than my mother. All he considered me was as a priceless gem and a show horse that needed to be trained. I was a human being with a mind of my own. I don't like other people taking control of me. It's not exactly a great feeling... Jack died for me to start a new life. He died for me. I will not let his death be in vain. No matter what I have to do. I won't go back, I will go on. He made me promise. Oh God.. Jack. It was only four days ago that you let me fly. It seems like years ago though. WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!?!? He was the only person that truly knew me. He believed in me and most importantly, he loved me. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and took off running down the narrow gangplank and into the unknown vast city of New York. I saw a few people turn their heads at the 'steerage' passenger when I yelled. A few people gasped and I pushed aside quite a few people as I pushed my way forward. I didn't care what they thought of me. It's not like any of them would see me again, and as of right now, I didn't care what anybody though of me, I only cared about what Jack thought of me. And Jack? Jack was dead.

I almost knocked my mother into the bay when I ran by her and Cal. If you could even call her my mother. Ruth deserved to be knocked into the bay though. Of course, I'd have to make sure she was knocked into the part of the bay that was reserved for the first class and wasn't too crowded.. I laughed silently at that one. God mother, you are so selfish. You know what? They don't even deserve to be in my thoughts. I heard Cal, the unimaginable bastard and selfish coward that he is yell at someone to arrest me for almost knocking himself and Ruth into the bay. He's the one who deserved to die, not Jack. Of course, no one paid him any attention. Well, that's probably a first. No one paid attention to Caledon Hockley, I wonder how well he took it.

The Carpathia's crew were trying to keep the reporters away from the survivors, one of the reporters, a man with a small mustache, gray eyes, and a hat yelled at me to stop, actually he had the nerve to run after me and grab my wrist. "Hello Miss!" he told me quite cheerfully, as if greeting survivors of a sinking not three days earlier who had lost everything back in the middle of the North Atlantic was a normal thing for him. "Would you care to tell me what you went through?" "No. Leave me alone." And I walked off. "We can't have that, Get back here!" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. "I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I was tired of people trying to pull me back to a place I didn't want to go. I used the one thing that I had left of Jack. I spit on him, and then of course, I punched him.. And ran.


	2. Strangers Are Always The Most Beautiful

**Redid this, the first paragraph is different.**

I was tired of all this. It had only been a couple of days and already I wanted to kill myself, but I promised Jack I would go on. I loved that man, there was no denying it, even if I wanted to; but this promise? How the hell could I go on without him? God, this is so frustrating. I stuck my hands in my pocket and brought out the Heart of the Ocean.

The deep, blue, cold, hard rock. I hate that thing, but at the same time I love it. "I'll never sell this thing. Never. It may have been given to me by the pathetic excuse of a man, but Jack had drawn me in it. I never wanted Cals help in the first place and I definitely do not want it now." I mumbled to myself, though a few people looked at me curiously. I guess they heard me, oh well. Wait, they should be sticking to their business, not mine. "God Damn It! It's none of your business!" I yelled at one couple and they hurried on. "Hurry up Annabelle, that woman is crazy!" The man whispered at the woman as they briskly walked by me. I just stared at them as they disappeared around the corner.

Was I really crazy? It would make sense.. "No Rose, you're not crazy." I snapped my head up suddenly. I heard Jack's voice. I turned around and just saw some man and his child. It reminded me of Cora. Oh, Cora. Dear, sweet Cora. I hadn't even met you except for that time during the dance.. Only six days ago. I looked around insanely until I finally realized that his voice was just in my head. "I miss you!" I wailed. Good God. I don't want to forget Jack, but right now, I can't remember him. It just makes everything that much harder. I stopped to a walk. The rain was refreshing and warm, it enveloped my body like a blanket. "How am I supposed to make it on my own?" The rain was slowly dropping degrees and I stuck my hands in my pocket. I have no means of su- "What in the world?" I said to myself and pulled out the wad of cash that was in my pocket.

"Good God!" Of course! When Cal stuck the necklace in the pocket, he grabbed the money too. "Selfish Pig." The money is ours though. Not his.. So it wouldn't be classified as his help, it would be mine. I'm helping myself. I may have hated dragging that safe around but I'm glad he made us. Otherwise he wouldn't have stuck the money in his pocket. "This is the only thing I'm thanking you for!" It was in our safe. Not his safe. OUR safe. I could spend the money any way I want too. I just needed a place to stay. And after that.. Well, I'll have to figure that out then.

I had no clue whatsoever where I was going. I decided I was just going to run and run until I couldn't run anymore. I don't care where I end up, just as long as I get there. "Wherever there is." It was getting colder by the minute and my clothes were still wet from the.. from earlier. I needed a place to go. "We'll make it Rose. I know we will." I heard his voice say. It was too much. I took off running. The rain was slowly dropping degrees and pouring down harder. In the course of around 6 hours, she had lost everything dear to her and people she had met and never met. It was pure torture. All those people died, It just wasn't fair. No one deserved to die except Cal and Lovejoy. Lovejoy died though, he wasn't with Cal when Cal had come into steerage looking for her and he wasn't with him just ten minutes ago when they were getting off of the _Carpathia_.

The weather wasn't making her feel better either. The rain was freezing cold, not as cold as the waters of the North Atlantic, but enough to give her a chill and to remind her even more of Jack. Her wonderful, ecstatic, loving Jack. I kept running away from all of those horrors, I knew they would be with me for the rest of my natual life, and one day I would have to face them, just not now. "Why couldn't you have spared him? Just one life? Jack!!" and kept running. She ran into what she thought was a pole and fell down with a small thud. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw his bright blue eyes fresh in her mind. His sloppy hair, his boyish face, and wonderful eyes. His eyes were haunting. Everytime she looked at him she felt her heart beat slowing, but especially when she looked into his eyes. She felt like he could read her soul. He probably could, he saw people.

The pole started talking. Oh wait, poles don't talk. People do. I looked up to see who was talking to me, the voice gave him away as a twenty-year old. "Oh gracious, I'm so sorry miss! Hear let me help you up!" He offered and held his hand out. I looked up and started to sob even harder. It was too hard. I covered my head back in my arms. "Miss? Excuse me, Miss?" How dare this man who looked like Jack talk to her! "Miss? Are you hurt? Who did this to you?" What an ironic question. Had I been hurt? Yes, yes, I had been hurt. Of course, he was thinking that someone might have hurt me physically, but I hadn't been hurt physically. I had been hurt emotionally. There was no way to fix it either. Unless the dead came back.. "Don't even think of entertaining that idea Rose! It'll make it that much harder!" I said quietly to myself between sobs.

"Miss, please let me help you, the rain is freezing and there's no need to be out on the sidewalk at this hour of the morning!" As if to prove his point, it started to rain harder. A car also rumbled by splashing us. "Miss, my mothers house is just across the street, please let me help you!" He seemed desperate. I looked up at him. He reminded me of Jack.. His eyes were a dark green and his facial features were quite a bit different, but his hair was the exact same shade of blonde and the same hair cut. "Oh God, you poor thing, you're not going to move on your own are you? Dear.." He seemed worried at this one. "I don't care if you hate me for this or even if this is inappropriate, but you're coming with me." He grabbed me around the legs and around my back and cradled me against his chest.

I didn't want to be there against his chest. I wanted to be with Jack. He ran across the street and into a small apartment. "Mother! Please help!" I heard some shuffling around upstairs and a hurried "Five minutes Bernard!" "No Mother! Now!" "Good Gracious, what could be this important?!" I heard the woman upstairs call. I looked around at my surroundings through my clouded eyes. There was a small fireplace to the left and a couple of chairs surrounding it. A doll on the floor and I could see a stove through a doorway straight ahead. I heard the woman stomping down the stairs on my left.

"Now what do you want Bernard? Jesus, Mary, and Joesph! What happened this time?" "She ran straight into me across the street and started crying. She wouldn't talk to me and it was getting colder by the minute, I was afraid to leave her out there on her own. It's New York for God's sake! So I picked her up and brought her in here hoping that you could help her." "Of course I can! It would be horrible if I didn't and God would frown upon us if I didn't do something! Now Bernard, take her upstairs and stick her in my bedroom. Tell Lucy to get her into some pajamas and stick her in my bed. I'll make some tea and then you'll tell me everything." I heard her walk into the kitchen. "Are you alright miss? Or could you at least tell me your name? I'm tired of calling you 'Miss'." He said while carrying me upstairs. He certainly was straight forward. Oh well, it was the least I could do for him after all this family who doesn't even know me or what happened to me or anything at all about me. "Dawson. Rose Dawson." I said with all the sound I could muster, which wasn't that loud, I was getting cold.

I just realized that I am afraid of the cold. The cold has horrible memories. "It's so cold!" I mumbled. "Luce!" I heard him yell. "What Bernie?!" I heard a young girl yell back. "We need some help, get out here and bring your warmest pajamas with you!" I heard a door open and close a second later. I heard the girl gasp. "Good Lord Bernard! How many times do you have to bring something or someone home?!" I heard her chuckle. Bernard sighed "Luce, please. Just get her into your pajamas and get her in Mom's bed. She needs rest," He stopped but picked up with, "I think she's one of the Titanic survivors." He tried to whisper but wasn't very good at it. I groaned inwardly and started shivering. "Sur-Survivors?!" She stuttered and gasped again. God! How long was it going to take to get something warm on?!  
"I.. I hate t-t-to be rude, but coul-could I p-p-please have warmth?" I said to them both. "Luce!" "Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry!" She said sincerely. "I'll tell you later!" Bernard sat me down on the toilet and went downstairs. "Here, let me help you." She started to take my clothes off. After the other day, I didn't care who saw me naked… Just as long as I was warm.


	3. Frozen In The Deep Dark Sea

**Title: Ocean of Memories  
Chapter: Frozen in the Deep Dark Sea  
Rating: Teen -No clue, what exactly will happen.  
Based On: Rose, Jack, and a few random characters  
Updating: Once a week hopefully.  
Editor?: There is no editor. Get over it. Thank you. : )  
This Chapter: It's on Jack.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except for the plot, I really wish I owned Jack Dawson though.. **

'Where am I? SHIT!! SHIT SHIT! It's freezing! Where am I.. OH SHIT! I'm underwater! I have to get back up!' Jack thought to himself as he kicked his legs with as much strength as possible. As soon as he broke through the surface, he remembered where he was. It took him a moment though because his hypothermia was getting worse by the second.

"Rose? Rose?! God Damn It! ROSE?!" He yelled, which was more like a whisper. His face was turning purple and his lips were turning a darker shade of blue. "Where's that damn door?" He looked around furiously until he found a chair that was floating nearby, and paddled the few feet over to it. It would have to do. It didn't even look strong enough to keep him floating, but if it got him out of the water, then it was fine by him. It took him all of his strength to just get on top of it. Was it possible that just a few hours ago, he was drawing Rose? That she saved his life? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Jack saw a light to the left of him getting farther and farther away from him by the moment. "Come back! Come back! Please!" He fought with his strained voice. It hurt to talk. He couldn't even think clearly and was about to fall asleep, but he knew that if he did that, It was all over for him. He still had a chance. He had to fight. He was a survivor. Jack had told Rose that they were going to make it and he felt terrible. He didn't like to lie. Especially to Rose. He had just told a major lie, and now she was probably floating somewhere. Dead; just like the rest of these innocent people.

'I wonder if Hockley made it through. He probably did, he probably lied and used trickery against the crew to get on a lifeboat. Someone who was worth more than him could have had a spot on the boat, but he took it. He didn't deserve to live. He didn't care about Rose at all.' Jack thought to himself. 'I can't think about what just happened. I have to close my eyes,' he said after looking to his right. There was a man with a baby floating there. "Those poor innocent people." Jack said slowly.  
'Rose! Where are you? Please tell me you're alive!' All Jack could picture was her lifeless body floating somewhere out in this mess. It made him sick and he wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He was too cold by then.

Jack brought his legs up to his chest and put his head against his knees trying to get some warmth out of it. "I love you, Jack." He heard her voice and looked around wildly until he realized it was just in his head. "DON'T DO THIS TOO ME GOD!" He yelled and then passed out, freezing cold, on the chair.

**NINE HOURS LATER**

"Be Careful, Jacob! Don't hurt the bodies!" A man yelled to another man. "But they're dead Edward!" So, have some respect! We may be able to identify some of them!" "Yes, sir!" Jacob grumbled. Edward looked to be about his forties and the Jacob looked to be in his early twenties. "What do we have here?" Edward said to himself as he pulled a man off of a broken chair. "Dear Lord! I think this man is still alive!" Edward yelled. He took Jacks body and ran off into the captains quarters to stick him in the bed. Edward took Jacks clothes off that were now covered in ice and threw them down and got a pair of underwear out of his bag by the door to dress Jack in. "Edward! What the bloody hell is going on?!" Jacob yelled while watching Edward run around the room.

"I found one that was alive." Edward stopped and told him. "Oh.." Jacob said shocked. "Wait! HOW THE HELL IS ONE STILL ALIVE?! It's been hours and that water is bloody freezing!" "I don't know how the hell he survived, but the important thing is that he did survive. Am I right?" "I guess so…" Jacob mumbled. "Yes. The important thing is that this man survived that tragedy. Now, go get those blankets out of the cabinet." Edward ordered. Jacob handed him the blankets and Edward stuck them around Jack to get him warm. "We need to get him back into New York as fast as possible. Hopefully, he still has some loved ones." "Dear God…" Jacob mumbled.

**  
**


	4. Where Has Your Mind Gone?

**Title: Ocean of Memories  
Chapter: Where has your mind gone?  
Rating: Teen -No clue, what exactly will happen.  
Based On: Rose, Jack, and a few random characters  
Updating: Once a week hopefully.  
Editor?: There is no editor. Get over it. Thank you. : )  
This Chapter: It's on Jack.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except for the plot, I really wish I owned Jack Dawson though..**

* * *

Where has your mind gone? 

"Where am I?" I said to more to myself than to any of the surrounding people. Wait! There are surrounding people. "Oh! Hello Sir! I'm glad to see that you're awake!" A young woman in a white dress said to me. "You've been out for quite awhile! Two days actually. At least you got your well needed sleep." The woman said quite cheerfully. I just leaned my head back and listened to her.

"Oh! How rude of me! I'm Nurse Ophelia! You can just call me Lia if you want, everyone else does!" "Great, Lia." I mumbled, faking enthusiasm. "Oh here comes Doctor Barnleby right now! You can talk to him! See you later!" Lia told me walking off with a bright smile on her face. It was quite enjoyable to watch her, though at the same time I felt sick for some reason and I couldn't remember why.

"Hello son!" the doctor told me. I was a little confused, what Lia had told me just kicked in. I had been asleep for two days. "Why the hell have I been asleep for two days?" I asked him thoroughly confused. "Oh, yes.. Umm. I'm getting to that." "Well, hurry up, because I'd really like to know." "Do you know what your name is?" I thought really hard and began to panic. "..No. No, I don't." "Do you know what you've just been through?" I began to think again. "No, I'm sorry, but I don't." I said scared. "You've just been through a terrible ordeal. You were on the giant ship that sunk. The _Titanic_. Did that bring back anything." "No." "Oh." "Now, why was I asleep for two whole days?!" I said still not understanding.

"The Titanic was deemed unsinkable. It was majestic in every way possible. I recall people saying that God himself couldn't sink that ship. The Titanic sank. It couldn't corner quickly enough and hit an iceberg. It split in two and was completely submerged at 2:45 AM. There weren't enough lifeboats and most of the people were in the freezing cold water for hours, some minutes, lifeboats were afraid to come back because of suction. Most people died from hypothermia. So far six have been saved from the water, seven now. You were found floating on a chair by Edward Loomle and Jacob Dryvis two days ago, passed out." The doctor paused a moment for it too all sink in. "Oh God." Jack said.

"For some reason, I think you may have amnesia. It will go away though, it could take days or a couple of weeks, but I promise you, you will have your memory back. Now you need your rest, so please go back to sleep." The doctor said while walking over to look at the next patient. "I still don't know where I am." I said to myself. The doctor heard me. "New York." "Oh. Okay." And then I dozed off.

…:: Dream ::…

Me: Don't do it.  
Woman : Stay back! Don't come any closer!  
Me : Come on, just give me your hand. I'll pull you back over.  
Woman : No, stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!  
Me : No, you won't.  
Woman : What do you mean, "No, I won't"? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you don't know me!  
Me : Well, you woulda done it already.  
Woman : You're distracting me! Go away!  
Me : I can't. I'm involved now. You let go, and I'm, I'm 'onna have to jump in there after you.  
Woman : Don't be absurd. You'd be killed!  
Me : I'm a good swimmer.  
Woman : The fall alone would kill you.  
Me : It would hurt. I'm not saying it wouldn't. Tell you the truth, I'm a lot more concerned about that water being so cold.  
Woman : How cold?  
Me : Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees over. You ever, uh, you ever been to Wisconsin?  
Woman : What?  
Me : Well, they have some of the coldest winters around. I grew up there, near Chippewa Falls. I remember when I was a kid, me and my father, we went ice fishing out on Lake Wissota. Ice fishing is, you know, where you...  
Woman : I know what ice fishing is!  
Me : Sorry. You just seem like, you know, kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I, uh, I fell through some thin ice; and I'm telling you, water that cold, like right down there...  
Me : ... it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breathe. You can't think. At least, not about anything but the pain. Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumping in there after you.  
Me : Like I said, I don't have a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the railing, an' get me off the hook here.  
Woman : You're crazy.  
Me : That's what everybody says but, with all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here. Come on. C'mon, give me your hand. You don't want to do this.  
Me : Whew! I'm Jack Dawson.

…:: Dream ::…

"Jack Dawson. My name is Jack Dawson." I told the Doctor and then I started to tell him my dream. "Well, I was standing behind this beautiful red haired woman who was about to jump off the back of a ship into, I'm guessing, The North Atlantic, and I was trying to persuade her not to jump, I got her to turn around and then I told her that my name was Jack Dawson. Then the dream just disappeared." "Well, at least you're remembering bits and pieces of it." "Yeah.." "I'll be back later to check up on you, Jack." "Yes sir, I'll just stay here."

..::Flashback::..

Woman: I'll be right back!  
Me: I'll just stay here.

..::Flashback::..

"God damn it! Who is this woman! Why do I keep thinking about her? Is she my sister? My wife? Just a random person? Who the bloody hell is she?! I need to figure this out! It's been three months since the Titanic sank and I don't remember a damn thing!" Though my memory wasn't, I was recovering quite quickly. "Full House!" I yelled at the man I was playing poker with, Andrew Newman. He had gotten shot in the leg at a bar a couple years ago and hasn't been able to walk since. Andrew didn't have any family so the doctors just decided to keep him at the hospital. "Fine, Jack. You win. Again. " Andrew told me defeated. "Next time, would you mind letting me win?! That's what.. three times in a row?" I smirked. "Four." "Whatever you say, Jack. Whatever you say…"

"Another round?" I asked him. "Ehhh, no thanks. My leg is beginning to hurt. I think I'm just going to sit here. So, Jack? How's the memory coming along?" "I keep thinking about that woman. She just won't leave my mind. It's driving me insane!" I told him frustrated. "Oh, Jack! It'll turn out alright. Just give it some time. You heard the doctor, your memory could come back anytime! Actually, it could come back in the next five seconds." Andrew told me pointedly. "You're right, I shouldn't let this get to me, but I just can't help it. I need to know who this woman is. It's haunting. What if she's my family? What if she's my sister? What if-" "Jack, don't do this to yourself. You could ask yourself millions of 'what if' questions and not get the answers to anything. I could ask myself 'what if I were the King of England?' and nothing would happen. I would just wonder and wonder. Just sit back and relax. Play solitare! Do something, anything to keep your mind off of her. Please, you're driving yourself crazy and me too!" Andrew said laughing. "Not that you weren't crazy before." I said. "HEY NOW! That is not nice." "No, but it's true." Andrew threw the closest thing to him at me, which was the morning paper. "Fine then. I'll just be on my way." I stood up, taking the paper with me.

"Jack! Get your ass back here! I need to read that paper." He yelled at me. "Well, so do I. So you'll have to wait." I told him and walked into the room across the hall and sat down on the couch. It wasn't that comfortable but it would have to do for a moment. I scanned the paper to see if anything interesting was in it, nothing except for articles about the _Titanic_. I turned the page and the headline read:

Pittsburgh Steel Tycoon, Caledon Hockley, Mourns Death of Fianceé, Rose Dewitt-Bukater

_Mr. Caledon Hockley and Miss DeWitt-Bukater were meant to be wed in July but due to the sinking of the RMS Titanic it will not go on. Mr. Hockley gave Miss DeWitt-Bukater the heart of the ocean as an early wedding present. It was lost at sea along with Miss DeWitt-Bukater, on that perilous morning of April 15th, 1912. Miss DeWitt-Bukater was seventeen when she was lost. She was a beloved daughter and Fianceé_….

Who was this Rose DeWitt-Bukater? Why does she seem so familiar? Jack scanned the rest of the article until he rested on a photo of what looked like Mr. Hockley and Miss DeWitt-Bukater. The caption read:  
_  
This photo was taken a week before Mr. Hockley and Miss DeWitt-Bukater sailed on the RMS Titanic. God Bless Miss DeWitt Bukater._  
Jack reread the article and stared at the picture for a moment. "Who the hell is this woman? Why in the world does this stan- HOLY SHIT! ROSE! HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET YOU?!?!" Jack screamed. A couple of nurses and a doctor came into the room. "Mr. Dawson! Is everything alright?" The nurse asked alarmed. I just stared at them until I stood up, grabbed the paper and ran out of the room. They stared after me. I ran by Andrew to give him the paper. "Good Lord Jack! What's your problem?!" Andrew asked me staring at me, I was sure he had heard me yell. "I remember everything. I swear I'll write! Thank-you for the paper!" I said throwing the paper down and running out the door. "Good luck, Jack! Good-luck!" Andrew yelled after me. I took off running, hoping to find anything I could about her. She couldn't be dead. I remember a boat paddling away from me when I broke through the surface. She had to be on there. I knew she was.

**Awwe, poor Jack. He had amnesia. Makes you want to cry doesn't it? Well, for those of you who were hoping that this wasn't another Jack lives story, I'm very sorry. I'm also sorry about the amnesia, it's overdone, but my mind is so small. TRULY SORRY. Trust me though, you will want to stick through until the end. Trust me. ::laughs maniacally:: Well, the reason for Rose being whiny last chapter is that it was either that or I could make her go to a boarding house. Which I very well couldn't do, because it wouldn't fit the plot as well, and the only way I could get her to go to an unknown strangers house was for her to break down. I'm sorry.. ::sniffle:: Well, review. PLEASE:**


	5. I Refuse To Think About It

**I Refuse To Think About It**

"Now tell me again what all she said!" Lucy Newman said to her brother. "Dear God Luce! We've surely told you this five times!" Bernard said exasperatingly. "It's so exciting though! You do have to admit it, I can't wait until she wakes up. I have so much to say to her!" She half-yelled. "Good God Lucy! There's no need to yell, you might wake the dear girl." Gwendolyn Newman scolded her young daughter. "But Mother! I have so mu-" she started, but was cut off by Bernard. "Luce, she's had a hard time. I forbid you to ask her a ton of questions. She'll tell us when she's ready. Right now our main concern is to get her healthy again." "Fine." Lucy said sulking.

"I just looked in on her, she looks fine, but she was tossing and turning and saying a few random words about icebergs and a man named Jack. I would think she was on the Titanic. Poor girl…" Gwen said to her children. "Oh, I do hope she's fine. Oh dear.."

"Jack! No! Come back!" I said screaming at him over the railing. He had just jumped off _Titanic_. "Rose! It's alright, it's quite warm down here!" he screamed back at me. Maybe I should go down there… "I'm coming down Jack!" I screamed at him, he smiled up at me and I jumped off the ship. When I hit the water, Jack was frozen even though the water was warm. I started screaming and was woken up by Lucy, I think that's her name anyways..

"Rose! Rose?! Are you alright?! You were screaming when I walked by the door, and I was afraid. Rose?" she said too me. I was covered in a cold sweat. I needed to take a bath. "I'm fine. Cold, but fine." I said trying to keep my mind away from that horrid dream I just had.

"Would you like to take a bath? It might warm you up!" Lucy told me reassuringly. She looked so nice. Her face reminded me of that one little girl.. Cora. Yes, that was her name. Cora. I wonder what happened to her, I hope she's alright. "Rose? Darling, are you here?" I looked at Lucy, she seemed worried. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking. Yes, I would like to take a bath."

Lucy got up from the chair she had sat down in and walked into a door to the left of me. I laid back down and stared at the ceiling. It was really hard to not think of what had happened. I tried to direct my mind anywhere but there. I couldn't do it. I started to think of Jack. Jack.. Why did he have to die! Honestly, why not Cal?! I could just see him in the water now, freezing to death. It made me happy.. How rude of me.

"Rose? Hunny? The bath is ready, it's quite hot, so if I were you, I'd hurry up." Lucy said smiling at me. I owed these people so much. "Thank-you so much!" I said somewhat weakly. "It's alright, there's a dress in the cabinet above the sink that you may put on, and there are a couple of towels. Do not hesitate to call for me, or my mother, Gwen. We're just downstairs." She said to me and left the room. I got up off of the bed and walked into the bathroom, took off my nightgown and stepped into the bath and sank down until everything but my head was submerged in the water.

There, of course, is nothing to do in a bathtub except for think, and of course, wash yourself. I need to get a job, I need to repay these people for everything that they've done for me. I can't live here and be a burden, that would be downright rude. Dear God! Please help me.. I finished thinking and taking my bath so I let the water out and got out of the bathtub. I grabbed a small towel out of the cabinet and wrapped it around my body. The house was warm so I wasn't freezing. I took the dress that Lucy told me about and started to put it on. It had a few buttons on the side of it and a small sash. It was really easy too put on, I just thanked God that I didn't have to put on a horrid corset. I'm glad I won't ever have to put one on again too.

"Thank-you Jack!" I said to the window grinning and headed downstairs.

"Bernard! Give me the spoon!" Lucy yelled at her brother. "No! Not until you promise to give me my book back!" "But I'm not done reading it!" "You shouldn't be reading it anyways, it's about politics. It's boring!" "Nuh-uh!" "Yuh-huh!" "Nuh-uh!" "Nuh-uh!" "Yuh-huh!" "Got you!" "Lucy! That's not fair!" Bernard said half-heartedly. I chuckled at the sight. Bernard was holding the spoon above Lucys head and she was trying to jump for it, but couldn't reach it because he was about six feet and Lucy was five feet. Quite a difference…

"Wow. Where'd you come from?" Bernard said when he heard me chuckle. "ROSE! AHH MY GOD! YOU'RE DOWNSTAIRS! YAY! TALK TO ME AND HELP ME GET THE SPOON BACK FROM ICKY BERNARD!" She yelled at me. I laughed some more. "Now, Lucy. Rose here wouldn't want to help you get a stupid spoon back when if she helped me keep the spoon away from you, she could have so much more fun." Bernard said winking at me. I grinned.

"Now sir, I don't think I should agree with you. I would much rather get a spoon back. It sounds much more interesting." I joined Lucy on the other side of the room. "Now, that wasn't supposed to happen! Good grief, now I have two women ganged up on me over this monumentally great spoon." Bernard said backing up a couple feet. Lucy and I advanced on him.

Lucy leaned over and started whispering to me, "Ok, Rose, you stay put and I'll advance on him. He'll run around the house thinking that you're following him too, and he'll come back in here. You grab the spoon and I'll attack him." She said so sure of the plan. "Great." Lucy started to advance on him, and just like she said, he ran from the room without a second glance. "Bernard Thomas Newman! Get your behind back here!" Lucy yelled after him and followed him. I sat down and stared around the kitchen. There was a stove in the left corner and a sink in the right. A small cupboard was behind me and next to it was a door that led outside into the garden I guessed. About five minutes later Bernard ran into the kitchen. He didn't seem to notice me.

"Aha! I got rid of them. I'll just stick the spoon in the oven," Bernard started turning around and spotting me. "Why, Hello, Mr. Newman! Lovely day for a spoon chase isn't it?" I said sticking all thoughts except what was going on at that moment. I refused to think about the Titanic or Jack until tonight. Bernard looked startled. "Erm.. Why yes it is!" He said nervously getting a tighter grip on the wooden spoon. I stood up and walked towards him. I looked over his shoulder and saw Lucy sneaking up behind him getting ready to attack. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to take the spoon just yet!" I said happily.

"You're not? I mean, Good. You're not. Bad idea, if you were, I'd be too much of a match for you anyways." Bernard said haughtily. "Ha!" Lucy was right behind him now. "Whatever you say…" Lucy jumped and Bernard fell to the ground letting the spoon drop and roll up to my feet. "You may think you're too much of a match for me, but apparently, you're not for your sister." I said kneeling down to pick up the spoon. "Thanks Rose!" Lucy said brightly sitting on her brother. "You're quite welcome!" I replied. Bernard grunted and admitted defeat, but not before saying it wasn't over.

"Lucy?" Bernard asked from the floor. "Yes Bernie?" "WOULD YOU MIND GETTING OFF OF ME?!" "Now, why would I want to do that? You're comfortable!" "So?" "So, I'm not getting off… Where's mother?" "She went to go buy a paper, she should be back any-" Right at that moment, Gwendolyn Newman walked in. "-minute." "Jesus Christ! Bernard! Lucy! Not another attack! We're going to have to get the police over here if you keep having fights." "But Mother! It wasn't a bad fight, Bernie here wouldn't give me my spoon that I was using to stir lemonade with and then Rose came down and we attacked him, well I did anyways, she just lured him into the trap, and we got the spoon back!" Lucy said brightly.

"Rose is awake?" She said looking around the room until she found me. "Oh, I didn't see you there dear! Was your sleep comfortable? Oh dear! I'm sorry! I didn't introduce myself properly, and knowing these two," She nodded to Bernard and Lucy, "they didn't either!" She stepped around Bernard and Lucy and held out her hand. "I'm Gwendolyn Newman, but you can call me Gwen. And those two over there," She said nodding towards brother and sister, "are Bernard and Lucella Newman." I returned her handshake and gave a smile. "Thank-you so much, for everything that you've done for me Ms. Newman-" "Gwen, honey, Gwen." "-Gwen. But I'm afraid that I can't stay here."

"Who said you were aloud!" Bernard said from the corner. Lucy had gotten up off of him and he was dusting himself off. I turned a bright pink and Lucy laughed. Gwen snapped her head around and screamed at him for being rude. "I was just joking mother!" he argued. She ignored him. "Of course you can stay here," I started to protest, but Lucy and Gwen interrupted me. "You will!"  
"I have no way to pay you for room and board though!" I argued. "Even more the reason for you to stay here! New York is not a place for dolls such as yourself honey." Bernard told me. I turned a even brighter pink.

"You're staying." Lucy told me. "You can stay in the guest room, Bernard, go get it ready. I'm going to make supper." Gwen told me and Bernard. "Thank-you." I reluctantly agreed. "Rose?" "Hmm?" "Can I ask you a question, other than this one?" Lucy stated. "Of course." "What happened?" Everything flashed through my mind, and I just couldn't share it. I couldn't, not yet. I wasn't sure I could ever share Jack. "Anything, but that." I said. "Okay. I'm sorry." I grimaced. "It's alright Lucy, I just can't talk right now."

**So we have the fact that Bernard and Lucy aren't normal kids growing up in this era. They're a bit wild. Rose is staying with them and is very grateful, she's not being emo or anything about Jack, but she can't talk about him. Okay, I did accomplish what I needed for this chapter. Sorry about not updating on Thursday. I've been busy. We actually had a fake bomb threat, (That's never happened at B. Middle School. It was interesting though..) So I was a little freaked out on friday or else I would have updated and I've been working on this for a little while, so yeah.. Review!**  



	6. What Has Bernard Done This Time?

**Arnoldthefemalepurplepygmypuff: I'm sorry about the last chapter, I actually had made the last part bold, but I forgot to check edit everything. I was a hurry. Sorry about that… I'm also sorry about not getting this chapter up. I've been sort of.. dead to the world, shall we say? (Well.. not entirely dead. I made videos on youtube, and that's really, really addicting.)  
Mrs.DanielClark: Thanks for commenting. I sent you a e-mail or message or something, but you never got back to me. That's pretty cool to know that someone else on here likes to read on the internet. What did you think about the copy cat bomb threat? I was actually sitting in Mrs. Vanhorn's science class and this girl went out in the hall and Mr. R. , Mr. L. , and Mr. J., were all standing there getting a kid out of Mrs. Alford's class. We were all like "Wow." :  
Mew Lizzy: It was pretty interesting, we had a copy cat bomb threat a few days later.. The person who did it was pretty stupid, they did it right under a camera, during break, on a wall. Haha  
nemo123489: Thank you very much for commenting, sorry about not updating for awhile, I've been pretty much dead to the world. Except for making videos on youtube. (THAT is addicting)**

**_---------------- _**

**_WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
1)It's been a couple of months since the disaster.  
2) Jack has just figured out who Rose was. (He got rid of the amnesia.)  
3) Bernard has.. well, you'll find out.  
&& 4) Rose has just finished telling them about everything, except Jack.  
----_**

"Oh Dear! I had no idea about what you had gone through, I knew it was bad, but dear. Your fiancée was an evil, what was it? Unimaginable Bas- Ahem, that word. Your entire family died in the tragedy and you lost everything dear to you? Oh, I'm so sorry Rose!" Gwen told me on the verge of tears.

"Gwen, darling, it's perfectly fine. I'm okay, at least I think I am. I do miss certain," I paused for a moment, searching for the right word to compliment him, my mind wasn't quite working today and I said: "good, very good friends. But life does go on." I stopped, and then added a quick, "And I intend to make every day count…" I stopped wanting to add something more about Jack but I thought better of it. "Rose, if you don't mind me asking, who was this Jack you were talking about in your sleep your first month here? I really don't mean to be rude, but it certainly has been on all of our minds lately." Gwen snapped her head around at Lucy. "What? It has.." My grin turned to a blank stare fast, I could see in Lucy's face that she instantly regretted asking the question.

"Oh, Rose! I'm sorry! Was he your brother?" I hadn't explained to her that my entire family consisted of only my mother so of course they would think he was family. I couldn't go into detail about what had happened. It was too soon, and like I was thinking the other day, I don't think I will ever be ready.

"Yes, Jack was my dear brother. He was only a year younger than I, sixteen, at the true beginning of his life.." I slowed down, remembering Jack, letting some of the memories I had managed to let go away back in. I started crying. Gwen came over from the stove where she was fixing us lunch and held me until my crying ceased. "I'm so sorry Lucy, Gwen. I didn't mean to cry.." I started. "Honey, it's alright, everyone needs a good cry every once in awhile. Especially you. You deserve it. Rightfully deserve it." Gwen told me with a strange determination; like she was trying to not think of something else.

"Mum? I think it's time for me and Rose to take that walk now…" Lucy told her mother, eyeing her carefully.

"Oh yes, that walk. You might want to hurry it's getting cool out."

"Wha-" I was confused, Lucy and I hadn't planned to take a walk today. I looked at Gwen and her eyes were screaming with mischief. I looked for Bernie too but apparently he was gone too. Ergh, this was getting annoying. What were they going on about?!

"Yes, Lucy, I need to get lunch ready and you two are distracting me! So shoo!" Gwen told us, waving her arms at us like a madwoman. Lucy dragged me out the door and pulled me down the street towards the nearest park.

"So, what are we doing here Lucy? Are you even allowed to tell me? Was this a set-up? What are we doing?!" I was getting annoyed. Lucy turned her head to the side and glared at me. "Shut-up." "Fine." Normally, I would be appalled at this behavior from any young woman, but Lucy was a fine exception. Actually, the entire Newman family was an exception. The were all quite odd, but I loved them just the same.

"Could you at least tell me where we're going?"

"To the center of the park."

"Oh…" We walked in silence for a couple of minutes. "Great." I said sarcastically for I was thinking of how big this park was. It would take a full twenty minutes before we reached it.

I needed to know what we were doing in the center of the park, it was making me aggravated. I mean, if your best friend was kidnapping you to take you to the middle of the park for some unknown reason, wouldn't it make you annoyed too? While we walked, I tried very hard to think of a way to make her tell me, but of course, I couldn't. When I needed my mind to work, of course, it wouldn't.

"So, uhhm… Lucy? Is something interesting happening around here today? Like a play or something?" I said, knowing whatever her answer was, I'd get some clue. Not a big clue, mind you, but a clue just the same.

I could tell she was contemplating her answer. "Not exactly…"

"Does it have to do with the greater population?"

"Not exactly, the result may though." I didn't like the way this was going. "What?" "You've asked one too many questions Rose. Quit asking me before I end up throwing something at your head!" She said annoyed, I could tell she wasn't mad or anything though. It was hard to make Lucy mad. Thank God. If it were the other way around and it was very simple to make her mad, I'd probably be at the bottom of the ocean by now. The ocean.. I used to like the ocean. Now I hated it.

"Jack." I said simply and stopped walking.

"Rose? What's the matter? You stopped walking!" Lucy turned around and started walking back towards me. "Uhmm..," I said smartly, "nothing. Sorry, keep going." I still wasn't ready to face that horror.

Lucy was worried, I could tell by her eyes. They reminded me of Jacks. His eyes were very pretty, you know? I missed them. "Rose? Are you sure? I mean, if you're not. It's okay, we can head back." She told me unsurely. A bit unsurely actually. Whatever she was hiding in that mind of hers was a big secret. I mean big. 

"Lucy, I said that I'm fine, now keep walking, whatever you have in store probably won't be waiting for that long, will it?" "I guess not… but only if you're sure." This was getting annoying. "Lucy! My God! I'm fine, now can we go down this annoyingly long path. Please? It's getting colder, and I'm getting tired. We've been walking for an hour!" I said staring at her. "Oh. Okay. Come on then, hurry up!" Lucy said and walked past where I was standing, making it sound as if it were my fault that we hadn't hurried up. I stared at her backside and said a small 'hmph' and hurried to catch up with her.

We had been walking for about ten minutes when she started complaining to herself, I didn't think she thought I could hear her, so I just stayed quiet and looked at the scenery around us. It was mid June and surprisingly, it was still cold. Maybe it was just me though, I still hadn't gotten warm. Oh sure, I was warm and my body temperature was right, but I just felt cold all the time. I guess you couldn't really count it against me, that water was freezing. The morning was freezing and Jacks death, was coldhearted.

"Why did he have to pick this stupid park anyways? I mean, it is pretty, but in the middle of a huge park? He just had to do that here. My God, I'm going to kill him!" Lucy said under her breath a bit menacingly. I just ignored her until my curiosity got the better of me. I walked silently behind her the rest of the way thinking about what she had said. Who was she talking about? Bernie? Probably, he is the only guy she would do anything for. All the others, she scoffs at them if they ask her of anything. They learn as time goes by to never ever ask Lucy Newman of anything at all. Okay, why did Bernie pick whatever he picked here? I pondered that question for a minute and couldn't come up with anything.

The only reason I stopped thinking about that was because I ran into Lucy. "God Rose? Could you be any more oblivious to the world around you?" She said teasingly. She always did the same thing to me, we could be walking just around the block and she would end up running into me two times at the minimum. One time actually, she almost walked straight into the traffic, and trust me, that would have had a very serious consequence. Especially at that time of day. Thank God that I had learned to pay attention to her at all times. "Ha Ha. Very funny." I said dryly.

"About time you got here Lucy! I was beginning to think that you had forgotten about our little plans." A male said from behind us. I turned around and almost dropped dead. My heart stopped beating, there was Jack. Or so I thought. Bernard Newman had that effect on me sometimes. He looked very similar to Jack, not that I would tell anyone that. Ever.

"Now Bernie, how could I forget those plans? For one, they're pretty exciting. Secondly, I'm not as forgetful as some people would like to think." Lucy glared at him. He glared back. It was pretty amusing. Then I started thinking. Which I found a couple months ago, was a dangerous thing to do; A very dangerous thing to do. Why the hell had Lucy brought me out here? I mean, we could see Bernie anywhere! I mean, he does live with us. Or rather, I live with him. I mean, I live with him, Gwen, and Lucy. That would be pretty bad if I lived with him alone. I'd have a heart attack everytime I saw him when it was dark. I mean, what would you do if you saw a guy who looked like the man who you had just fallen in love with, not two months ago? I had probably been thinking for close to two minutes when I realized that Luce and Bernie were still staring at each other. With more intensity than before might I add!

"My God! Bernard!" I said to him. They continued glaring at each other, not even blinking. If we were back with my mother and Cal, they would get in so, so much trouble for ignoring me when I talked to them. Thank God I don't live with those self-obsessed people anymore. It was really creepy; The way they were staring at each other. A squirrel started to stare at me. Well, that isn't very comforting. I can get a stupid squirrel to stare at me, but not humans. Great.  
I didn't want to resort to it, but it was the only way to get Lucy's attention away from Bernard long enough for me to find out what the hell was going on with each of them and myself. I used her hated name that no one but myself, Bernard, Gwen, and a small, small handful of Lucy's friends knew. "LUCINDA HARRIETTA ISABELLA NEWMAN! YOU MADE ME GET OUT THE HOUSE, WALK FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR, FREEZING, JUST SO YOU COULD HAVE A STARING CONTEST WITH BERNARD?!" That got their attention and couple of the surrounding birds flew off, along with a few bystanders. Well, the people didn't fly off, they walked away with a couple of backwards glances. I glared at Bernard and Lucy.

"Well, I guess that wasn't exactly a great way to start this off was it?" Bernard said more to himself than us.  
Lucy just stared at me until she realized that she couldn't exactly be mad at me, considering she was the one who started the entire 'let's stare at each other until Rose bursts' thing. She muttered a small 'sorry'. I didn't reply to her. I was more focused on why I was standing in the middle of this park.

I sighed, we were getting nowhere with this. "Would you all mind telling me why were out here? Please?"

Lucy looked at Bernard. Bernard looked at Lucy. Lucy and Bernard looked at me. "What?! Is there something wrong with my hair?" I said oblivious to what was going on and to what I had just said. Then I realized what I said. Why am I asking them if something is wrong with my hair? Yeah… Lucy brought us out here just to let Bernie tell me that my hair was messed up. God. I'm pretty stupid. Well, I can't blame myself. Today hasn't been the greatest day for me. Oh well…

I looked up and noticed that Bernard and Lucy were staring at me. We all started laughing at the same time. "Seriously though," I started in between the laughter that had caused all of us to fall down onto the grass. "Why are we out here?" The laughter died down slowly. I sat there staring at both of them. Lucy looked at me first, and then Bernard did. "Should we just go ahead and tell her?" Lucy said somberly to Bernard. "I'm not sure if she could handle it." He said back. I was feeling a building panic. "What?! Tell me! I can handle it!" Lucy looked doubtful, "I don't think you can." "Me neither." I stared at Bernard, feeling that panic rise. "Tell me!!" "Are you sure you can handle it?" Lucy asked me. "Yes." I said confidently. "Are you positive?" Bernard asked me in a whisper that seemed to ride along with the wind.  
I was afraid, that panic was about to hit an all time high. "Yes!!" I looked at Lucy, I flicked her. She looked shocked, but then started laughing. I slapped Bernard on the arm, he looked even more shocked. "I'm sure I can handle it! Now, TELL ME!" I said falling back on my back. "If you're sure.." Bernard said. "I think she's sure." Lucy added. "Well, what we.. Well, actually, I think it would be better if Bernard told you." "FINE! JUST TELL ME!" I said yelling.

Bernard looked at me and I looked at Bernard. "Rose? Will you marry me?"

**OH! I bet you didn't think that was coming did you! NO! You didn't. OHHH! Review! I swear I'm going to get started on the next chapter. Wait- Maybe I should just add some more onto this… **

I stared at him. Did he just ask me to marry him? What about Jack? What the hell am I supposed to say to him?! I guess I could say yes. I didn't exactly love him, but he loved me, and honestly, I don't think I will ever love again, at least like I loved Jack. Jack did want me to go on, right? I had promised him I would too, right? He made me promise and I promised. I had to do this for Jack, if not for myself. Bernard and Lucy looked at me expectantly.

"Yes." I said graciously.

Lucy and Bernard started hugging each other and jumping up and down while I just stared at them. It was a very happy sight. "Rose! I love you! Thank you!" Bernard said running over to me and picking me up and swinging me around. I just laughed and smiled while thinking about something else.

"On one condition." I added cautiously.

"Anything love! Anything!" Bernard told me.

"I have to go to Chippewa Falls for a week.." I said and then quickly added, "Alone." Bernard agreed quickly and we all started walking back towards the house where Gwen was preparing them a hot meal for a congratulations.

Gwen knew that Rose was going to say yes to Bernard, because she had done the same thing some forty years ago. She knew Rose's story, even the parts she hadn't told them. She knew that Rose Dawson wasn't Rose Dawson, but Rose DeWitt-Bukater, ex-fiancée of Caledon Hockley. Gwen knew that she was hiding something that she didn't want known. At least not yet.

**Okay, now really review. Please.**


	7. Shooting Stars and Ghosts

Title: You were there, Now you're here.  
Chapter: Shooting Stars and Ghosts  
Focus: Rose  
INFORMATION:  
It has been a few months since the _Carpathia_ has docked.. That's why Bernard proposed, over those few months.. He fell hard and fast.  
_**Entire Italic sentences are Rose's thoughts.**_

* * *

Shooting Stars and Ghosts

Rose sat in her room contemplating what had just happened to her. Bernard has just asked her to marry him about five hours ago and she had told him yes, and now? Well.. She was a fiancée. **Again.**

"When will this ever end? I was a single young adult, fiancée, a woman in an affair, partially a widow, and a fiancée again! All in the course of three damn months?!" She yelled at herself furiously kicking off of her bed and walking around the room. Soon after she had arrived at the Newman's that fateful day three months ago, she had gotten a room of her very own.

It was originally the attic, but was converted into Lucy's room when Gwen and Charlie, had a baby boy. It had died because of a chest cold the same year it was born, so Lucy moved back into her old room and the attic was abandoned. Bernard and Lucy were actually the ones who suggested she move into the attic and it wasn't a particularly bad room. Sure, it was always a couple of degrees warmer or colder than the rest of the house, but it was always cozy. Rose liked this room better than anything she had every lived or stayed in. It had a personal and very loving touch to it that she just couldn't figure out.

"Do I even love dear Bernard? It has only been a few months, and honestly, I think I miss Jack more than ever!" She questioned the open window and fell against it softly, sobbing loudly. Rose pulled her blanket that she had been carrying tightly around her. "I know Jack would want me to go on, I mean, he made me promise.." She thought out loud. "I'm going to do this. Quit having doubts Rose!" She told herself as she continued to sob. It wasn't as steady and loud as before though.

"NO! I can't do this!" Rose dropped the blanket and ran over to the door. "I can't! I can't! I love Jack, not Bernard! **Not** Bernard! I can't go through with this, I need to tell him before I make a mess of things. I don't want to lie to him. He loves me but I don't deserve him. I'm so sorry.. I need to leave." She opened the door and stared down the unlit stairwell into the bright hall. She could hear Gwen and Lucy laughing.

'Don't you dare do that Rose. Not now. They need you and you need them.' She heard Jack's voice and turned around. "Jack?!" She yelled like a mad woman. Nothing answered her. "Of course there's nothing there. Don't be silly!" She shook her head as she tried to reassure herself. She closed the door and turned around. 'Rose, do this for me. _Please_? ' "**I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!**" Rose fell against the door and slid down until she hit the floor.

"What am I supposed to do then, Jack?! Marry a man I do not love? Forget you? You expect me to do that?" '_It's not like I can just get over you...'_ 'I don't expect you to forget me, I expect you to move on. I can't come back. Rose, you do love Bernard. Just not the way you loved me... Please, just do this for me.'

"I know I'll never get over him. It's just not possible or even questionable. He freed me in every way imaginable. I owe him more than my life..." Rose said looking out the window at the deep blue sky that was getting darker by the minute. "He'd possibly kill me if he saw me right now," She said jokingly. "I probably look pretty scary at the moment." She grinned a little. "I have to marry Bernard. If not for me, for Jack." Rose slowly stood up and walked back over to the window. "...To make Jack happy. To live up to my promise... To do his honor out." Rose had ceased her crying and continued to stare at the sky; wondering where her Jack was at the moment. She liked to believe that he was beside her or drawing.

"I hope you know that I'm doing this for you, Mr. Dawson." Rose said through tear-stained eyes. A shooting star passed by as she stared, it brought back that night on the _Titanic._  
"Are we supposed to wish on it?" She stated.  
"Why? ... What would you wish for?" He asked her truly curious.  
"Something I can't have." She replied wistfully and neutral. '_Why was it always the same..'_ She couldn't have it then and she couldn't have it now. She wanted the impossible, for Jack to come back to her. If she hadn't been so wrapped up in her thinking, she would have heard the creaking of the stairs outside her door.

"She'll never be truly mine. I love her do much though... Whoever the bloody hell has her heart is one lucky son of a bitch." Bernard Newman said to himself trying not to alert Rose of his presence as he carefully made his way back downstairs.

Rose stared at the sky for a couple more minutes and decided to start packing for Chippewa Falls, after all... She was leaving tomorrow morning, as early as possible. If Jack wanted her to do this, she would, but she wasn't going to go without a fight. She needed to go to his hometown to see if there was anything left of him that she could grab...

**Thanks for the reviews. Every good story must have a twist, and I imagine I added quite a few these past two chapters... Don't worry, everything will be resolved. I'm honestly sorry that this chapter was so short... I couldn't really say that much. It was a chapter that needed to be wrote. By the way, the Jack and Rose conversation in this chapter, it was all in her imagination.. I mean.. we all know Jack is alive. Review. Now. Please?**


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